Divorce

Marriage, Divorce & Re-Marriage

Biblical Guidelines for Marriage

1. God is the author of marriage
2. God commands husbands/wives to love/serve eachother
3. God’s ideal is: 1 man + 1 woman = 4 Life
4. God speaks against the practice of pre-marital sex
5. God speaks against the practice of homosexuality
6. God speaks against the practice of polygamy
7. God speaks against a believer marrying an unbeliever

Learning to Love to your Spouse

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

Statistics in America

Statistics regarding marriage/divorce are incredibly complicated
The U.S. Divorce rate has been on a steady decline for the past 20 years
The U.S. Marriage rate has been on a steady decline for the past 20 years

73% of American adults have been married
51% of American adults are currently married
35% of American adults who have been married, have also been divorced
35% of ‘Born-Again’ Christians have been divorced
35% of ‘Non-Born-Again’ Americans have been divorced
40-50% of marriages will end in divorce (if current statistics continue)
03% of American adults are currently ‘separated’

“Consider therefore the kindness and sternness of God”
We must consider God’s kindness toward the divorced
We must consider God’s sternness toward divorce

OLD TESTAMENT TEACHING
Genesis 2:24, Deuteronomy 24:1-4, Ezra 10:2-5, Jeremiah 3:1-8, Malachi 2:13-16, Mark 6:18

1. Marriage is defined by God
2. Divorce in a reality in a fallen world
3. Some marriages aren’t recognized by God
4. God handed Israel a certificate of Divorce
5. God hates divorce

JESUS’ TEACHING
Matthew 5:32 Matthew 19:9 Mark 10:11-12 Luke 16:18

6. Sin is present in every divorce
7. Divorce/Re-marriage is not permitted (except when sexual sin was committed)

PAUL’S TEACHING
Romans 7:2-3 1 Corinthians 7:10-15, 26-28, 39 1 Timothy 3:2

8. Death is a valid end to a marriage
9. Divorce is not an option for 2 believers
10. A believer shouldn’t initiate a divorce from an unbeliever
11. A believer shouldn’t stop an unbelieving spouse from initiating a divorce

Hypothetical Situations (Borrowed from thenarrowpath.com)

“Spouse A” (a professing Christian) divorces “Spouse B” without justification and remarries. What should “Spouse A” do, if repentant? Can “Spouse B” remarry?

Spouse A should repent and return to Spouse B if she is still single. By the world's standards, this involves breaking up a current marriage, but in God's eyes, Spouse A and his current wife are not married at all. They are simply committing adultery since there has not been a legitimate divorce. However, if Spouse B has remarried (which she is entitled to once Spouse A has committed adultery), then Spouse A cannot make break-up the legitimate marriage between Spouse B and her new husband. If truly repentant, he is then free, it seems, to marry.

“Spouse A” divorces “Spouse B” without justification. “Spouse A” remains unmarried. Can “Spouse B” remarry?

If spouse A is a professing believer, Spouse B should use the Matthew 18:15-17 principle to establish the actuality of his/her Christianity. If Spouse A does not repent, he/she must be treated like an unbeliever. If an unbeliever seeks a divorce, a believer should allow it. Spouse B is then free to remarry.

“Spouse A” (a professing Christian) divorces “Spouse B” without justification. “Spouse A” remains unmarried and sexually pure. Eventually “Spouse B” remarries. What should “Spouse A” do, if repentant? What should “Spouse B” do?

Spouse A sinned in divorcing Spouse B without valid reason. Thus, in God's eyes, they were still married. Because of this, Spouse B sinned by marrying another man. Spouse B should have used the Matthew 18 principle to establish whether or not Spouse A was a Christian before acting like a divorced person and remarrying. Since Spouse B did not do this, both parties need to repent and hopefully restore there marriage which still exists in God's eyes. This could be a very messy situation, but that's what sin does.

“Spouse A” commits adultery. “Spouse B” divorces “Spouse A” and remarries. “Spouse A” later repents. What must “Spouse A” do? Can “Spouse A” remarry?

Spouse B had a legitimate divorce and a legitimate re-marriage. After repentance, Spouse A seems free to re-marry.

“Spouse A” commits adultery against “Spouse B”. “Spouse B” divorces “Spouse A” and, one month later, “Spouse B” announces engagement to “Spouse C”. Within the year, “Spouse B” marries “Spouse C”.

Spouse B's action is allowable, but not advisable. Spouse B should have been long-suffering like God was toward Israel. Nevertheless, the new marriage is valid in God's eyes.

***In cases of abuse, the Matthew 18 principle should be followed to establish the 'Christianhood' of the abuser. Since extreme abuse is not in line with the life of Christ, a non-repentant abuser must be considered as a pagan. From there, I would interpret abuse as an indicator that this unbeliever does not want to be in the marriage (even if his words indicate he doesn't want a divorce).